Q:   Did you each have a defining moment that helped you better understand the truth about yourself-what you realized you're all about once you overcame negative influences or experiences?
A:    JCH: I've had both defining moments and defining mentors. Mentors are like magic mirrors: they show us a reflection of ourselves that we might not see. They see our potential and give us tools to overcome bad experiences.

In high school, my defining person was my speech and debate coach, Sharon Prefontaine. Heading into sophomore year, I had this image of myself as a gawky, shy girl with braces; at home, I was brought up to be a quiet Asian girl. But then there was Sharon, who saw me as a pulled-together, confident young woman who could argue her way to a championship. Lo and behold, when I clung to my first trophy for extemporaneous speaking, I finally believed what Sharon showed me: I could be a good public speaker, and more importantly, I could speak up for myself.

AB: One time I was complaining to one of my best friends in an email. I wrote all about how I wish I were different than I am, and then detailed just about every thing I thought was wrong with me-that I'm not cool enough and that I wish I had trendier clothes. When he responded the next day this is all he wrote:

"You already are all of those things. You're just not seeing it right now. But lots of other people do."

That email got me thinking about where my standards and ideas were coming from. Like, I'm not cool enough... compared to who? Or my clothes aren't hip enough...but compared to what? To a star who has a stylist and gets freebies from a top designer? I realized that the ideals I was measuring myself against were pretty extreme. So now I'm making an effort to better accept myself. When I say "accept" I don't mean "settle," I mean understand that all the conflicting messages out there were shaping my ideas, whether I wanted them to or not, and that I'm fine exactly as I am.

Q:   How do you think the media deals with race? What are some positive and negative examples?
A:    JCH: Many racial stereotypes are being shattered by amazing people. When I speak specifically about Asians, I think it's thanks to actors like Sandra Oh and Lucy Liu that people are "getting it" that you can be Asian, attractive, and sassy (and funny, too)! Thanks to Michelle Kwan, Michelle Wie, Apolo Ohno, and Ichiro, you can be Asian and a world-class athlete. Thanks to writers like Lisa Yee, Grace Lin, David Yoo, and Janet Wong, Asian stereotypes are getting turned on their heads. Isn't that wonderful?

AB: The media are powerful because they decide who and what to show. They decide what they want to emphasize, and more importantly, leave out. When it comes to race, I think they still leave a lot out. Sure, they include stars like Serena and Venus Williams, but they still don't tend to choose people of color for fashion spreads, as cover girls, or in advertisements, so there's lots of room for improvement.

I interviewed a girl who is 17 and dying to become a ballerina. She told me that basically she has no hope-that her body is the kind that guys make fun of with an enormous booty and round hips. She says that when she looks in magazines she never sees any positive beautiful images of girls who look like her, and that makes her ask, "Aren't I beautiful, too?" She couldn't hear me, but I was crying on the phone when she told me her story. Because she IS beautiful...and how dare some people who make all the magazines, movies, and music videos we see every day imply that she is not? She is an amazing girl with a dream of dancing and a natural body. What's not beautiful about that?

Q:   What can girls do to influence the media?
A:    JCH: What excites me most as an author are the strong, sassy, smart girls I've had the privilege of meeting and interviewing. It's so heartening to know that this generation of girls is going to be the future power players: they will become the studio heads and directors and producers who determine which films will be made and what those films say about girls and women. They'll ask: Why can't a heroine be a gorgeous sixty-year-old? These girls will become news producers and journalists who will feature women making real change for the betterment of our world. They will be the editors who will broaden the definition of beauty.

Combine that future promise with girls' ability to demand change today, and girls are a potent force. Right now, at this very moment, girls control so much buying power. Don't tell me that corporate America isn't paying attention. If there's an image of beauty you don't like, don't buy into it. Don't buy the shirts with demeaning images of girls on them. Don't waste your good money on movies that portray girls as bimbos. Trust me, when girls just say no, the corporate world will sit up straight and listen.

AB: I believe there's A LOT girls can do to influence the media. The first thing is to get educated about how the media-and the manufacturers who hire them-work. I write about that in my book, All Made Up, because it's essential to know that every ad, movie, magazine layout, and article is carefully planned. Nothing is by accident. But it's also important to know that the media depend on consumer (that's us!) feedback. In other words, they need to know if we like a movie, fashion trend, or pop star, so tell 'em what you think! It takes time, but write a letter to the editor of your favorite magazine (or send an email) telling her what you love or hate about the last issue. Be articulate and direct. If you think they do a great job of portraying diversity or of including lots of different body types, then go ahead and congratulate them. If you think they could improve, tell them how. You might feel like you're just one voice, but trust me, you (and your money) matter to them.

Q:   How can girls maintain their strong, smart, and bold attitudes and develop the tools they need to deal with the stereotypes and media hype that surround them?
A:    AB: I wish I could somehow tell every girl everywhere that you are strong, smart and bold naturally. You can't buy those qualities or get them by copying a look in a celebrity magazine. You just are! I think of it this way: it's not our bodies that need to be changed (and plucked, waxed, tanned, liposuctioned, etc.); it's the standards that we are pressured to measure them against. Once we realize that, we can take the best of the media-the fun, entertaining bits-and leave the rest (all the pressure to buy products in order to look like and be like a star).

JCH: As a writer, I know I'm biased. But I have to say this: strengthen your sense of self by reading a book. There's so much incredible literature available for today's girls: books that are about "real" girls with real issues who find tools to make themselves heard and known. More than that, they feature girls who you wouldn't mess with by the end of the book.

As a woman who has an amazing group of friends, I'd advise girls to pick their best friends carefully. Deepen your friendships with the ones who will be there for you and then make sure that you are there for them, no matter what. When you have the right friends flanking you through life, girls who are strong, smart and bold-and who aren't afraid of another girl who is equally strong, smart and bold-how can you be anything less than true to yourself?

Finally, be a critical consumer of media. Our world may equate beauty with being a size zero. Sure, cover girls are truly beautiful, but women and girls who make the world better are the ones who are TRUE-ly beautiful.